Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth. Or, that’s what its PR team would like you to believe. And while the look on your child’s face while they meet their heroes may be priceless, it would be ignorant to suggest it’s all happiness and smiles all day long.
The folks who work for the Big Mouse take extraordinary measures to ensure that any scandalous behavior is hidden from the mainstream set of eyes. But what catches the Mouse? The Cat. And that’s exactly what we’ve done. Finally, years of being called catty have finally paid off for this writer – since we were the ones that caught the mouse.
Every family has its own drama – even when you’re a duck. We don’t know what catastrophic conflict was created during their last reunion, but it clearly left an impact on Donald. Here he is desperately trying to reconnect with some of his family members after the dreadful Thanksgiving meal of 2017. To this day, they reject his decision to depart from the family business and pursue his dreams as an actor. The celebrity life doesn’t suit everyone – there’s always next year.
Happiness Is A Social Construct
Those who think that going to amusement is supposed to evoke feelings on excitement are stuck living in 2018. Meanwhile, this woman is living in 3018. No one is going to tell this independent woman what to do – and kudos to her for keeping such a straight face. Splash Mountain has failed to claim another victim with this passenger, whose heart and mind of stone didn’t flinch. Rumor has it she is teaching interrogation methods to CIA operatives in Arizona.
Nobody Is Above The Law
It seems unbelievable to the young child you accompany to The Happiest Place On Earth, but their favorite character is actually just a human in disguise. And humans are flawed and complex personalities, with enough follies to last a lifetime. Here, we see examples of when Disneyland’s very own police force arrest some of your favorite childhood heroes. It begs the question of what these people did to deserve such treatment. While no public records delve into such details, these photos live on.
Neverland For Some
Disneyland offers the perfect opportunity for fully-grown adults to live life as a child, at least while they’re in the compounds of the park. Our in-office detectives have cleverly deduced that the man is merely pretending to be blowing smoky gas from his body – he is just posing in front of a gas cylinder out of shot – but the results are still hilarious. Kids can have fun with or without their favorite Disney characters: because having gas is always funny regardless of how old you are.
Mickey The Romancer
What does Mickey get up to when Minnie goes on vacation? Sadly, it looks as though he pursues unkosher acts of debauchery and rebellion. Here, his smooth eyes are looking at the camera as if to tell us he’s up to something sinister. What do you think it is? Unfortunately, park-goers have been unable to view Mickey the same way after they caught a glimpse of him in holiday mode. Minnie should be in for quite the surprise when she returns.
The actors that spend 10 hours a day smiling and interacting with young children deserve a raise, a peace prize, or both. It can be hard to make sure you’re always happy and ready to talk to temperamental children. Unfortunately for this princess, she had to work extra hard to please this little lady who clearly missed nap time and was looking forward to resting up in the hotel. After a long day of teacup rides and meeting Goofy, what else do you expect?
That Don’t Impress Me Much
There is no gender inequality when it comes to guests being unimpressed with actors dressed up as Disney characters. Gaston can try as hard as he wants with this one, but there’s nothing he can do that can sweep this girl off her feet. Considering she’s at a place that promises happiness and the adventures of a lifetime, she should be happier. I guess it’s true what they say – never meet your heroes.
Celebrity Dads are As Embarrassing As Regular Dads
Being a parent can be tough – especially at Disneyland. As your youngster embarks on a sugar-fuelled drug trip of happiness and euphoria, it can be exhausting to keep up with the whole thing. Sometimes the best thing we can do is make light of the situation and join in on the madness. Breaking Bad actor Dean Norris got in on the fun and is seen here with none other than Snow White. Two famous faces together make for one of the greatest cinematic crossovers of all time.
Tantrums From The Terrible Two-Year-Olds
Once the sugar-filled ups wear off from the $12 sodas, a child is bound to start to feel a bit rough. Thankfully, Drew Barrymore is there to make light of what is usually a terrible situation. As her child shouts, screams, cries, and collapses into chaos, Barrymore remains calm and collected as she merely pretends her child doesn’t exist. After a few scary moments of the child thinking she has gone invisible, she calms down and enjoys the rest of her day.
Breaking The Fourth Wall
It’s in the contract of all Disney actors to never break character, making for some meta occasions every so often. Here, we see the totally genuine and not at all contrived reaction to Ariel seeing her enemy on a parkgoer’s t-shirt! Oh, the horror! Thankfully, the Disney princess put her art degree to good use and never broke character – her fear of Ursula was totally believable and apparently, she didn’t break character until all children were evacuated from the park.
Pun In The Park
Another triggering experience for a cartoon character was when one misguided guest wore his ‘deadmau5’ t-shirt, suggesting he advocates for dead mice. Minnie was understandably shocked, covering her eyes so as to not get more upset. The poor visitor was left feeling awkward and ashamed – how could he have been so careless? – and was advised not to speak with her again while he was still wearing the shirt. Reports say she still have some levels of PTSD.
Yes or No?
Disneyland is a romantic place – and it’s easy to see why. This guest has a special something in his heart for roleplaying, which explains his impromptu proposal to Gaston. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like the Disney character is ready to embrace that lifestyle, and so it had to be a no. However, the parkgoer found plenty of other princes and princesses to propose to throughout the day – it’s the costume, after all, that pulled his heartstrings from one end of the park to the other.
Peak A Boo!
Tigger has always been a cheeky character from the Pooh universe. These children experienced first hand how a tiger cannot change its stripes, no matter how hard he tries. There were laughs to be had all round when this fella covered the faces of the guests who had waited hours for just a few seconds of his time. The photo that should have lasted a lifetime is now deemed irrelevant since you can’t spot the faces of the excited children! This hilarious prank means they have no pictorial evidence of meeting their biggest hero – ha!
You’re In Safe Hands
Disney parks are full of great places that are perfect for your next Instagram shot – it’s a ‘safe’ bet. The cartoon safe is delicately placed so that you can take this sort of photo without causing tragic and irreversible damage to the brain. At least, that’s what Disney’s lawyers told us in a pre-prepared statement when we asked. Tourists have since looked for the landmark but haven’t seen it – raising questions on its legitimacy as an attraction in the first place.
There’s no more romantic place to propose to a loved one than at your own place of work surrounded by a bunch of young screaming and dirty children. For this happy couple, a moment of madness is about to result in a lifetime of adventures. Marriage proposals are pretty common in Disneyland – just ask the workers themselves – so they thought they would join in on the trend and start their life in the same way. The woman in the back seems just as surprised as the fiancee.
“I Want To Break Freeee!”
It’s usually the child that is most excited about a trip to Disneyland. This might be the case at the start of each day, but children get tired. Here, we see a child give up on the dreams that can be built in The Happiest Place On Earth and attempt to nap during a family portrait. The parents seem less than bothered (she can be cropped out, after all), and can rejoice in the fact she will probably sleep peacefully through the night after a busy day meeting her heroes.
Beauty and the Beast
Name one thing a daddy wouldn’t do for his daughter. If she wants to go to Disneyland, you take her to Disneyland. If she needs a princess friend to walk around the park with her, then Dammit you buy a dress and put on your tiara! Here, we see the distance that parents go to make sure their children have the best time possible. Reports show that young children actually approached the father seeking autographs and photos for who they thought was Cinderella, but the father had to politely decline.
In the tradition of never breaking character, there was once a clause in the contract that created more problems than it resolved. Much like the scene in Toy Story when the toys would pretend to sleep once their owner entered the room, the actors would do the same when a child yelled it at them. It was all fun and games at first, but then it was calculated that the actors spent an estimated 436 minutes on the floor each day playing dead to diehard fans of the film series. The rule was later removed.
There’s an old adage among journalists as to what makes a good story. What is the difference between ‘Dog Bites Man’ and ‘Man Bites Dog’? One is naturally more interesting than the other. However, if that dog is Goofy and the man is actually a small child, it creates an exception to the rule. Here, we see Goofy almost eat a young fan after giving him a hug. After this photo, Goofy was banned from making contact with the children 30 minutes before lunchtime.