Life can be hard sometimes. To survive, we are often pushed to our extremes, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. Sometimes it’s a stressful period at work or sometimes it’s a walk among mother nature – just how good are we at tailoring our survival instincts?
We’re about to let you in on a few tricks to help you out in almost any situation. With these tips, you’ll be right on your way to acting like a proper adult – no more need to pretend!
Step one: just dive in.
So, You’ve Just Been Fired
Losing your job can be a shocking experience which can have an instant and negative impact on your life. It might be months until you are working full time – so how do you manage that?
It’s important to gain perspective about your life situation. This isn’t the end, it’s the start of a new adventure! Take some time to relax, get some rest, and then focus on updating your resume. You have a bunch of new skills to add to your accomplishments, be proud of them!
So, You’re Stuck In The Wild
Uh-oh. You’ve gone and gotten yourself stuck in the forest. It’s ok. Here’s how you can get home safely. First, find water. Humans can last around four days without water, and if you’re lost without it then every second counts.
Food is a little easier to ration. Humans can survive for around three weeks without food. Make sure to find healthy fruits and plants that can keep you alive until rescue comes. And stay calm!
So, You Have An Ice Cream Headache
Ok, it’s happened to all of us! We’ve all eaten our favorite Ben and Jerrys a little too quickly and caused our brains to freeze over. It’s ok! ‘Brain freezes’ are totally normal and caused by our brains quickly pumping warm blood into our heads after sensing our cold mouths.
These can be quickly countered by drinking some warm water. It will balance the chemical reaction in the brain and bring it back to normal. An alternative (but totally unrealistic) tactic is to eat slower. Yeah, right!
So, Your Plane Has Crashed
When you’re flying at 30,000 feet, even the slightest bump feels like an earthquake. Even though it might be scary, it’s never been safer to fly in an airplane. But, mistakes happen and planes can crash. So what do you do?
First, you can count yourself lucky for sitting in the back on the plane. Studies have shown that you’re more likely to survive a crash if you’re at the back of the plane. Second, make sure to take the brace position after securing the oxygen mask around your face!
So, You’re In An Awkward Conversation
Some of us find small talk easier than others. When you’re sitting next to someone at a wedding, awkward minutes can feel like hours. Here’s how to survive a terrible table! First, open with a compliment. People love to be complimented.
Then, find what they want to talk about and learn to listen. If you listen for 80% and talk for the remaining 20%, then they will enjoy sharing parts of their life with you. If all else fails, make sure to have an escape plan. The phrase ‘don’t let me keep you’ can go far – far from the conversation!
So, There’s A National Epidemic
If there’s anyone who loves a good zombie scare, it’s the mainstream news. Fear keeps people watching and clicking for hours. Sometimes, the news gets it right and there might be a zombie apocalypse. So, what do you do?
It’s time to fill your bunker! Get plenty of canned foods and stock up on essential items needed to live underground. Watch your friends’ behavior – if they’re acting weirder, they might be infected! Finally, don’t feel the need to be the hero. Sometimes the people who survive are the ones who hide.
So, You Have An Earworm
No, not the bug! Sometimes all it takes is a few seconds of a catchy tune to get stuck in your head all day. Well, very official scientific studies have confirmed that there are TWO ways to get rid of it. First, kill it with kindness. Play the song on repeat until it runs away from your brainwaves!
Or, the more enjoyable technique is to simply drown out the earworm with other music. Get your iPod ready and play another album. Before long, the song will be off your airwaves.
So, There’s An Election
Depending on what country you’re in, elections can feel like they drag on for YEARS. That’s because in some countries they actually do. While UK elections are usually over in six weeks, American elections take around 18 months.
First, get away from the TV and social media. Survive election seasons by keeping away from incessant information designed to shock, inspire, or irk. Then, maybe take a break from some of your politically charged friends. Election seasons are marathons not sprints – it’s ok to rest a bit!
So, You’re Stuck In The Slow Line
We’ve all been there. All other lines are going quickly except for yours. Maybe it’s a large family of young children or an old age pensioner – either way, your line is taking forever! Before you have a hissy fit, consider this calming tactic.
Patience is key. After all, what’s the rush? It’s important to keep calm and breathe. If you’re not in an urgent hurry, then there’s really no need to stress yourself out. Try listening to music or breathing heavily. Before you know it you’ll be at the front.
So, You Want To Avoid A Speeding Ticket
The best way to survive a speeding ticket is to avoid them to begin with. The trick for this is amazingly easy: you don’t speed! It’s better to be five minutes late in this world than five minutes early in the next.
If you’re pulled over by an officer, make sure to always be honest with them. But be mindful: if you admit guilt, they might be obliged by law to write you a ticket. It’s perfectly acceptable to request a warning – it’s not as severe as a driving ticket and won’t stay on your record.
So, You’re Getting An Injection
Whether it’s your annual flu shot or you’re getting a filling at the dentist, getting an injection can be a scary experience. We’re not used to seeing long, thin needles enter our flesh and pump us with chemicals. So, what can be done?
First, be honest: tell the professional or administrator that you don’t like needles. They’ve definitely seen someone more scared than you so will be totally fine with it. Then, close your eyes and think about something calm. If you can, try to grip something to help with the tension. Before you know it, it will be over!
So, You’re On A Rollercoaster
Some people absolutely love rollercoasters and get a thrill from riding them all day. Others hate the idea and are coerced onto them by partners or kids. If you’re the latter, then here’s what you can do.
First, breathe. Remember: you’re more likely to die on the way to the theme park than on a roller coaster. Then you need to find the best seat that won’t scare you too much. Of course, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t ride on a full stomach – we don’t want any nasty surprises!
So, You’re Sunburnt
If you’re English, you’ve probably gotten sunburnt while vacationing. You don’t have to be English to know the struggle of dealing with sunburns, though. Next time you spend too much time in the sun, remember: make yourself a salad.
What do we mean by this? Well, the skin needs vitamins A and D to heal. This means you should apply cucumber or apple cider onto your skin to help it recover. Don’t forget to moisturize, too. Peeling skin can be nasty.
So, You’re Getting A Divorce
Louis CK says that ‘divorce is always good news’. While it may not feel like it at the time, divorce is a consequence of a bad and unhappy marriage. So, how can we lift ourselves up out of the pit of despair?
Remember that this is the start of a brand new life. While you may not have planned this, it’s now your chance to own it. Keep yourself distracted with hobbies and projects, and always consider what is best for your children. Good luck.
So, You Have The Hiccups
Hiccups occur when the vagus nerve (from your brain to abdomen) is aggravated. This results in uncontrollable contractions of the diaphragm. While we all know what a hiccup is, almost none of us knows how to get rid of them.
Next time you get a stubborn case of the hiccups, try gargling ice water to shock the nerve and relax it. Alternatively, you can also hold your breath and build up the amount of carbon dioxide in your body. This loosens the contractions and prevents hiccups from continuing. Or, you can simply play the waiting game. These eventually pass with time.
So, You Have A Toothache
The problem with toothaches is how they can penetrate every other aspect of your body. They can lead to headaches, neck pains, and throbbing eyes. What’s more, the jaw is connected to the ears which can also throw off your balance.
When you next have a toothache, grab an ice cube and place it in between your thumb and index finger. This sounds weird, but that body part has close nerve endings which can quickly and strongly ‘move’ the pain from your tooth to your hand. Sometimes, this is up to 50% more effective.
So, You’ve Had A Sugar Binge
This happens to us most weekends! We meant to only have a brief snack but have binged our way through too much candy and sugar. This can cause bad habits to emerge while adding to our waistline. What now?
Remember: these moments are fine and you will survive. Don’t beat yourself up about it too much and focus on the next few days. If you’re in the middle of a binge, be sure to walk around and use some of that energy, or counteract the sugar with some healthy fats, like avocado.
So, Your Ring Is Stuck On Your Finger
For whatever reason, you need to take a ring off your finger. We’re not asking questions. But if you’re having trouble, you might want to know how to remove a stubborn ring from a finger – especially if it’s been there a few years.
First, ice your finger to decrease any swelling. Then, add a strong lubricant like soap, grease, or lubricant. Then, wrap some floss around the lower part of the finger to trap the swelling in the lower part of the finger. Before you know it, the ring will slip right off. The best part is that your finger will also survive. Success!
So, You’re In A Huge Crowd
Crowds can be stressful and cause anxiety in some people. The best way to survive them is to, if possible, avoid them at all costs! But we understand that this is sometimes unavoidable – so what can be done?
First, don’t fight the wave. There’s no need to feel like a salmon swimming upstream. Try to go along with it and see if it’s any easier. Careful not to fall over! If you do, quickly try to get up. If that fails, make an air pocket and try to call for help.
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